So I don’t have a dog, but I do have a cockroach. Actually, I have many cockroaches, but I have one in particular (named Leader) that I meet with on a regular basis to discuss house rules and the residency status of the other cockroaches. Yesterday we discussed the newly instated speed limit in the house (because cockroaches are far too scary when they move quickly), and the rule that there will be no hissing inside the house. If they need to hiss, they can go outside. The geckos and moths are allowed in the house, but centipedes are certainly not allowed and I have asked the cockroaches to keep an eye on them for me. The spiders are negotiable, but I would prefer that the big ones and the fuzzy ones live outside. My house crab is a questionable topic that is still open for discussion because he is usually harmless, but occasionally he threatens me with his big claws while I am showering and I don’t appreciate it. I wrapped up the meeting by telling Leader that, overall, he is a pretty good cockroach and I am sorry for being so strict.
Lemurs and heffalumps and woozels you say?
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